Blah !

“Fundamentally, we want to become the party of protest. Because until politicians really begin to listen to the people that they represent, the only sensible vote is the protest vote.”

Is the quote from the leader of a new political party launched on September 28th 2006.

In the Quarterly return from the Electoral Comission today this party declared total donations of £174,548.50 in 3 months ,which puts them just behind the Scots Nats and Plaid Cymru...who could be running Scotland and Wales after the May elections.

?

You may have overlooked the Blah Party and their leader Captain Sensible AKA Raymond Burns, (53 and looking well on it) ex toilet cleaner from Croydon, leader of 80's punk rock icons, the Damned - his single "Happy Talk" (featuring backing group Dolly Mixture) was a UK No 1 in 1982. Full Discography here Captain Sensible, also has a My Space site
http://www.myspace.com/thecaptainsensible where you can see a picture of the A Cotswold Rail Class 47 diesel locomotive (number 47810) which was named 'Captain Sensible' at Hove during a railtour to Brighton on February 10th 2007. - you can see it here as well.

Well since September the Crazy captain has been inindated with non cash donations from Seabrook Crisps, of Bradford for such items as (all dated 1/10/06) £ 20,000.00 nature: Organisation of 40 Club nights to promote Blah Party @ £500 per night organised : £ 10,500.00 nature: Management fees paid to Propaganda Agency Limited for Corporate PR work completed during period. and £ 10,000.00 nature: Payment to Captain Sensible for personal appearances as Party Leader.... there are also donations of beer mats etc., etc.,

Then again there is the Mum's Army who have received £39,363 for Head office and Party - provision of Staff, office ,facilities and admin from Bauer Publishing. Better known as the German Bauer Verlagsgruppe publishers (166 magazines in 14 countries Euro 1.4 BN T/O) of crap lifestyle women's mags such as "Bella", "Take a Break", and "That's Life!" Its television publications include "TV Quick", "TV Choice", and "Total TV Guide" and is cashing in on sudoku which has translated across the Atlantic to their sister company Bauer Publishing USA. In Germany where they have 40 magazines they have a very interesting youth online lifestyle site www.BRAVO.de - with helpful advice from Dr Sommer - Die Pups-Geräusche, die manchmal beim Geschlechtsverkehr entstehen haben sogar einen Namen. Die Mediziner nennen sie "Flatus Vaginalis" - or the perhaps even more useful and surprising advice that.."Achtung: Sex mit einem Partner oder einer Partnerin ist vom Gesetz her erst ab 14 Jahren erlaubt! Den Schnellüberblick "Sex - was ist verboten, was erlaubt?" findest du hier: Was ist erlaubt, was ist verboten?" or "Wichtig: Die Hündchenstellung sollte nie als Aufforderung zum Analverkehr missverstanden werden! " ... with useful photographic illustrations as well.

MUMS' ARMY claims to be a new political force with over 300 campaigners, 15,000 supporters and is a bona fide pressure group which wishes to push the problem of antisocial behaviour higher up the political agenda, and keep it there.

Go to their website www.mumsarmy.org.uk and you get redirected to part of the "Take a Break" magazine website - http://www.takeabreakmagazine.co.uk/Default.aspx?Page=3

You can whinge about antisocial behaviour by calling the Mums' Army Hotline on 020 7241 8076. To become a Mums' Army campaigner e-mail mums.army@bauer.co.uk or call 020 7241 8319. - one item records active political networks ...Maggie Bray, of Crewe, Cheshire, Linda Martin, of Southend-on-Sea, Essex, and Karen Rouse-Deane, of Hull, East Yorkshire. All three Mums' Army election candidates made impact at the ballot box and while they didn't manage to gain a seat, two pulled in more votes than the Conservatives, which is a huge result for a political party that has been registered for only three months ! Story from Salford here of granny Renee Cavanaugh and her ASBO campaign for Mum's Army.

Of course these are clever "viral" marketing ploys - no financial advantage is apparent because providing political parties with donations doesn't provide any corporate taxation benefits - but ...... if the law changed because of the talk about funding UK political parties and tax relief became available ...... it might just be handy to have a political party up your sleeve ? perhaps those canny crisp manufacturers in Yorkshire know a good thing when they see one.

The Monster Raving Loony Party had an "impermissable donation", refused so income was zero .... anyone want to sponsor a tax break ?

So think up some slogans ... or borrow these from the Blah Party..

· Blah! to the Labour Party electing the next prime minister
· Blah! to multi-national companies taking over great British brands
· Blah! to the obesity debate - turn two jags from a fatty to fitty
· Blah! to non-violent offenders going to prison