Guido Fawkes and his Coke Conspirators . Part 4

Ths is Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes at the samizdat.net 5th Birthday Party on his nearly eponymous day, 11th November 2006.

Top totty having their spray on totty hot pants striked, smacked and slapped and having a jolly soooper time, don't y'know ?

Jax (a lady by the looks of it, doing something with a beer bottle and evidently enyoying it).

Latest news is that Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes has unleashed the lawyers on Tom Watson MP who is a apparently a brownite bastard. He (Tom Watson MP) has pulled down something but nobody knows what, Pickled Politics has pulled down his whole post with the apparently offending Guradian article - which savvy blogistes have already downloaded, filed, e-mailed and chortled over.

Meanwhile Lord Patel is on the trail of the Hedge Fund that Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes was managing, as he has claimed - details would be welcome.

One thing has been cleared up, Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes curious blubbery and somewhat asymmetrical facial features, vacant expression, veneral strabismus, low brow and distinctively criminally close eyebrows are explained in a story in the Times (The paper of record amongst Rupe's Rags) of July 1st 2002.

It appears that every year in Navarra on the Festival of St Fermin, there is a bull run, made famous by the Master, AKA Ernest Hemingway in The Sun Also Rises in which young men attempt to goad and outrun enraged young bulls in the slippery, winding cobbled streets.

Whilst 13 men have died since the war, Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes who participated in that year sustained serious facial injuries.

We must all take encouragement that in the face of such crippling injuries Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes can still walk, talk and pass in company without remark, even write (albeit in a somewhat laboured juvenile way) and behave in a particularly objectionable fashion, rejoicing in drunkeness and excess of every sort.

Given permission by the poor stricken soul Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes, it is Lord Patel's intention to open a fund to try and settle him, free him from the drink and self abuse, which plainly exaggerates and torments him. The stated object being to detox him, refine his spiritual worth and set him back on a decent, righteous and bounteous course. Lord patel's good friend Bishop Proudie's wife has agreed to be patron (and a not inconsiderable benefactor,it must be remarked).

Mock not for as Job (suffering dreadfully from a pague of boils sent by Satan via the Lord - craftyy swine - he has all the decent tunes as well) said (3 .2,3)

Job spoke out and said:Perish the day on which I was born, the night when they said, "The child is a boy!"

As any Old Harrovian kno, and will recall dank, dark mornings in chapel and learning of Job's comforters visiting as he sat upon his pile of ordure and excrement .... Remebering of course that Mrs Job had already given him a hard time...

First up was Eliphaz the Temanite (Job4.1,2)

1: Then Eli'phaz the Te'manite answered:
2: "If one ventures a word with you, will you be offended? Yet who can keep from speaking?

and (Job 8. 1,2) Bildad the Shuhite chipped in:

2: "How long will you say these things, and the words of your mouth be a great wind?

and finally pain in the ass, wiseacre , know all, Zophar the Naamathite who would really piss on any Freedom to Party, complete with drugs and loose women (Job 11 .1,2,3)

1: Then Zophar the Na'amathite answered:
2: "Should a multitude of words go unanswered, and a man full of talk be vindicated?
3: Should your babble silence men, and when you mock, shall no one shame you?

Frankly old Zophar would (entré nous) , having followed the first two, really pissed anyone off, but perhaps there is a lesson for us all in what Eli'phaz the Te'manite , Bildad the Shuhite and that creepy old bastard Zophar the Na'amathite said.

Mind you, even at the end one cannot be sure that Job really caught their drift, as it were (Job 42.3) he was still unrepentant...."`Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

So let's be easy on Guido Fawkes AKA Old Harrovian Paul "Semen" Staines AKA Paul Staines AKA Paul Delaire Stanes, in his lonely Nevis residence, on it's vasty shores seeking wisdom in a grain of sand ...whatever.

Pics are from Lord Patel's vast collection of incunabula and trhe larger is from the woodblocks of the Great Cologne Bible of ca. 1478/79 Anonymous (German, 15th century), depicting The Plague of Boils as described (Exodus IX)

The other is a page by the master Jean Fouquet of the False comforters of Job, inexplicably absent from "Book of Hours of Étienne Chevalier dated roughly 1458, that you can find the rest of at the Musée Condé, Chantilly(Click for larger version)