The Mom & Apple Pie Constitution

The BBC have published a translation of the proposed Iraqi Constitution which is well worth looking at. You could be forgiven for thinking that Blue Peter ( a children's program for non UK readers) had a hand in it.

It would be tedious to take it line by line but the following few paragraphs (suitably annotated ) give a flavour. (pic (c) courtesy of Kinkos copyshop (now owned by Fed-Ex)

"Article (29): 1st - (a) The family is the foundation of society and the state should preserve its (the family's) existence and ethical and religious value.(unless you are a Jew - we kicked them out in the 30's and don't want THEM back again)

(b) The state shall guarantee the protection of motherhood, childhood and old age and shall take care of juveniles and youths and provide them with agreeable conditions to develop their capabilities. (and apple pie available every night ?)
2nd - Children have the right to upbringing, education and care from their parents; parents have the right to respect and care from their children, especially in times of want, disability or old age.(...and George Bush is a boy genius, and Donald Rumsfeld a military mastermind)

3rd - Economic exploitation of children in any form is banned and the state shall take measures to guarantee their protection.( so don't you work on Daddy's farm no mo' - even if it's the only way we get food on the table ? )

4th - Violence and abuse in the family, school and society shall be forbidden.(see Article 35 below)

Article (30): 1st - The state guarantees social and health insurance, the basics for a free and honourable life for the individual and the family - especially children and women - and works to protect them from illiteracy, fear and poverty and provides them with housing and the means to rehabilitate and take care of them. This shall be regulated by law. (now that's something even the US citizen doesn't get or even hope to get)

Article (31): 1st - Every Iraqi has the right to health service, and the state is in charge of public health and guarantees the means of protection and treatment by building different kinds of hospitals and health institutions. (now that's something even the US citizen doesn't get or even hope to get)

2nd - Individuals and associations have the right to build hospitals, dispensaries or private clinics under the supervision of the state. This shall be regulated by law.

Article (32): The state cares for the disabled and those with special needs and guarantees their rehabilitation to integrate them in society. This shall be regulated by law.(especially those injured by the Coalition of the Willing in liberating their country)

Article (33): 1st - Every individual has the right to live in a correct environmental atmosphere. (so that means the US military are going to clean up the Depleted Uranium shells and debris ?)

2nd - The state guarantees protection and preservation of the environment and biological diversity.( FOE and Green peace will be overjoyed )

Article (34): 1st - Education is a main factor for the progress of society and it is a right guaranteed by the state. It is mandatory in the primary school and the state guarantees fighting illiteracy.(which is more than you can say for PUblic Schools in the US)

2nd - Free education is a right for Iraqis in all its stages.( they of course have had this for decades - recognised by UN as the best education system in the Mid East ...until the US military invaded - "The Education system in Iraq, prior to 1991, was one of the best in the region, with over 100% Gross Enrolment Rate for primary schooling and high levels of literacy, both of men and women. The Higher Education, especially the scientific and technological institutions, were of an international standard, staffed by high quality personnel". (UNESCO Fact Sheet, 28 March 2003))"

3rd - The state encourages scientific research for peaceful purposes in a way that benefits humanity and it promotes excelling, creativity and the different
manifestations of excellence.

4th - Private and national education is guaranteed and regulated by law.

PART TWO: Freedoms

Article (35): 1st - (a) The freedom and dignity of a person are protected.(Whoop de dooooo!!!)

(b) No one may be detained or investigated unless by judicial decision.(tell that to the Alabama farm boys behind their shades, wielding their M-16's and uninhibited power and violence)

(c) All forms of torture, mental or physical, and inhuman treatment are forbidden. There is no recognition of any confession extracted by force or threats or torture, and the injured party may seek compensation for any physical or mental injury that is inflicted. (perhaps we could suggest President Karimov gets to sign off on this one...as well as the CIA rendition teams / the UK Foreign Office ?)

2nd - The state is committed to protecting the individual from coercion in thought, religion or politics, and no one may be imprisoned on these bases. (Abu Ghraib ?)

3rd - Forced labour, slavery and the commerce in slaves is forbidden, as is the trading in women or children or the sex trade.(well that will ensure that the UN are kept out of the post war re-settlement) "

The State Department would like to thank the Boy Scouts of America, PETA and that guy from Star Wars with the brown dressing gown, for help in producing this Constitution.

It's a good job the finest legal minds (AG Gonzales etc., ?) have been able to help in drawing up this Mom and Apple Pie enthusiasts constitution, Hamilton , .... a mere amateur.