The Diplomatic Duos fans - both of them....

The US Department of State report of the Blackburn Town Hall meeting with the Press on Saturday 1st April 2006 can be read here it contains an entertaining instruction from Jack Straw to the assembled hacks..

FOREIGN SECRETARY STRAW: ...... Let me just say this, that I hope that one of the things that is reported from this morning is the fact that the crowd of people to turn up in support of Secretary Rice's visit here was at least as large as those in front of the town hall who were opposed to her views and mine in respect of Iraq. And that was a really quite remarkable event that there was that crowd. It was entirely spontaneous. It's very unusual to get people to turn up to show that they agree, in this case, with the purpose of our visit.

This is a complete and utter fucking lie - here is a photograph of the only supporters, God Bless them... who did turn up and show their evident and patriotic support - and much abuse they got for their efforts as well ... although the crowd was generally light hearted endlessly singing "We don't want Rice we want chapattis" as they waited in the rain.

Dutifully the Press obliged the Foreign Secretary .... which is very oddd because they obediently filed out of th Town Hall by a side entrance straight onto the Press claque bus without appearing in front of the Town Hall - some photographers did appear but Lord Patel has not been able to discover any photographs of the massive and highly vocal crowd in front of the Blackburn Town Hall.

Lord Patel timed the scuttling duo and it took 23 seconds from Town Hall door to bomb proof Range Rover and photographs show it was almost impossible to see either of the diplomatic duo behind a 15 strong flying wedge of burly men.... poor show for a such a "crowd" of loyal and enhtusiastic supporters.

The bottom line is of course that the whole North West PR BS trip was a shambles ... followed on in Iraq where they arrived in torrential rain and instead as Condi said being "choppered in" went down "Dynamite alley". ... Condi at her "Drive by Diplomacy" yet again. See here State Department Press release when in Baghdad...

QUESTION: The last time when you were in Iraq you flew in on a helicopter and today -- and at that time you said that you were really looking forward to the moment when you would be able to drive, take the airport road --

SECRETARY RICE: Well, the rain was a little daunting, actually. (Laughter.)

QUESTION: Did it meet all your expectations that you had expressed (inaudible) in going that route? And (inaudible) first of all, were you a little disappointed that it took so long? It seemed a little chaotic, quite frankly.

SECRETARY RICE: What seemed chaotic?

QUESTION: The ride.

QUESTION: There was a lot of --

SECRETARY RICE: Oh --

QUESTION: -- the traffic was very --

SECRETARY RICE: Oh yeah. Well, yeah. (Laughter.) I didn't worry about it. I mean, I was busily talking to Zal (US Ambassador) and William, (British Ambassador), and Jack Straw in the car about, you know, what we were going to do and what we were going to see, and I didn't think much about it. I think they did a great job. You know, we would normally chopper in. The weather was terrible. We had to drive in.... a security nightmare with those 4 in one vehicle.

Any way now in a snnappy black trouser suit with Hussar style fastenings and shiny patent leather Jimmy Choos, she was seen striding into No 10 Downing Street (sans the For. Sec.) about an hour ago having acheived absolutely nothing in Baghdad ... except missing seeing Mr Muqtada al-Sadr and his Mahdi Army and skipping over the letter to Shia spiritual leader Mr Sistani from the President which lies unopened and unanswered on his desk. (See USSD above Press release) (Pic NYT Rice and Talabani admire the roses)

We've occupied the country ... what do we do now ?