... or use a telephone directory ...

Sandwich Repairman describes himself as "One of the World's Most Undateable, Unfuckable Men. At 29, I've never had a girlfriend and only had sex 5 times. I've tried endless dating strategies, but none have worked. I'm introverted (INTP), 5'7", a Jewish atheist and democratic socialist. I'm a feminist, don't drink, and am allergic to smoke"



To spread a little happiness I copy his musings for today...

Papier Hygenique (aka Toilet Paper)

Has anyone else noticed that toilet paper seems to be sold in larger and larger packages? I mean, I went to the grocery tonight, and the SMALLEST one I could find was 18 rolls! Then it brags about how it's so thick it's really the equivalent of 36 rolls. I live alone--that might be enough for most of a year (I admit not tracking my TP consumption patterns closely). What happened to the modest old 4-pack, or even 6 or 8? I mean I've heard all about the obesity crisis, but is my butt--are our butts--that big these days?? (According to my scale, which I'm suspicious of, I've lost 15 pounds in the last year somehow) What on earth does anyone need that much toilet paper for? Are they wallpapering rooms with it?? I could hardly even fit the bloody thing in my cart! I think I'm going to start referring to these things as Diarrhea Packs. My hometown is #1 in the US in per capita toilet paper consumption, but I still think this is nuts! No wonder the rainforests are gone, maybe we should go back to wiping our butts with fresh leaves.

Of course if you want sandwiches .....