Lord Patel examines his Crystal Balls

Here's the deal according to my man on the terraces at Turf Lane and my man in the Rue de Matelot in Brussels.

1. Inspector Knacker Yates drops the nonsense about cash for peerages, large sighs all round from New Labour, Old Conservative and ailing Lib Dems

2. Things go very quiet in criticising the brave boys of the Met, IPCC muzzled, the press as ever keep schtumm as instructed. Maybe even another Gladio exercise..... Blair (Ian) stays and IPCC do not wish to bother a busy man like him by interviewing him and the de Memezes murder squad.

3. Tony has health problems, requiring urgent treatment, murmering backbenchers cause murmering heart, writes his book "Why I was the greatest Parliamentarian ever"

4. John Rottweiller Reid, fresh from clearing the Augean Stables at the Home Office sweeps in on a tide of regional revolt with Peter Hain, King of Wales and NI as deputy (Prescott having handed in his dinner pail,) Mr Study in Brown stays in his No 11 study.

5. Everybody goes off on a Summer Holiday - in the Dear Leaders case at Cliff's place (and no doubt his expense).

6. Everything carries on as normal.. we upgrade Trident, more troops killed , helicopters lost in Afghanistan, ditto Iraq, ....NHS falls off a cliff with a lot of computers and consultants ..

7. Snap election to endorse the new PM in the spring before Cameroon can get his head in place. Reid gets his head in place i.e very firmly up the fundament of Dubya.

I meet a tall dark handsome stranger in a bar ....