Gaza - Peace breaks out

Sales of Intifada Barbie have slumped since the telcon between Olmerde and Abbas. Toys 'R' Us , Gaza have been clearing their shelves since peace was declared.

Hamas government spokesman Ghazi Hamad called Mr Olmert's statement about a new peace, a "conspiracy" and "a new manoeuvre"."Mr Olmert is speaking about the Palestinian state without giving details about the borders," Mr Hamad said.

In the occupied West Bank town Qabatiya, near Jenin, Israeli troops shot and killed two Palestinians, a militant and a 55-year-old woman. The Israeli army said she had been trying to recover his gun.

Olmerde speaking at an annual memorial at the grave of Israel's founding premier and terrist David Ben-Gurion , in the southern Negev desert overlooking the Zin Valley and the Avdat Plain.He talked of ;

1. Releasing many long-term Palestinian detainees in Israeli jails
2. Lifting restrictions on the occupied territories
3. Dismantling settlements
4. Creating a viable state

He offered an olive branch, probably from one of the many, many thousands of olive trees stolen by the settlers.

"I hold out my hand in peace to our Palestinian neighbours in the hope that it won't be returned empty," Mr Olmerde said.

No mention of the mysterious disappearance of the mysterious French / Israeli Corporal Gilad Shalit.

Strange Facts about Ben Gurion's Grave

It was recently reported that rather than tell lies over his grave, students of the Sde Boker Academy, Yaakov Aini, in the Negev, have, for years been losing their virginity on his tomb - apparently guaranteeing both enjoyment and fertility.

Ben Gurion's grandson, Dr. Yariv Ben-Eliezer, when asked about this apparent ritual appeared unconcerned "If the information is true, I think it's great. I'm happy that years after my grandfather died, he continues to inspire our youth and still gives the country an erection."

"But I wouldn't have thought a cold, hard stone was the best place to have sex," he said somewhat ruefully with the wisdom and experience of the act that comes with age. The follies of Youth.

Sde Boker Academy's Director , Yaakov Aini, was not so laid back "it is shameful, distorted, and very serious." .. thank god it's only heterosexuals who consummate their love life there ....