Terrorism - it takes guts to fight it

The Chicago Tribune reported this week that Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff had been consulting his guts and he had a feeling that ,"the U.S. would be attacked again."

We don't yet have a colour code (brown maybe ?) in the Homeland Security Advisory System that is directly associated with the state of the Homeland Security Secretary's guts... but maybe extortionists and protection racketeers could take a lesson .... "Mighty fine nation you have here folks ... but I got a feeling in my guts that something REALLY nasty could happen...."

Whilst the state of Chertoff's abdominal discomfort is a pretty unusual not to say uncommon way of predicting hugeterristattacksonthisgreatnation, perhaps it's on a par with Reagan consulting his wife's astrologist. Perhaps we need a daily reading on the Chertoff Gaviscon meter of the state of the Chertoff bowels.

What's up for us next week .... A chicken being taken into the White House and being slaughtered so that Dick and Karl can read the entrails for George ... hey don't laugh.

Here in Limey land we are one step ahead of the US (as ever) and our head of terrism who is called Peter "Lunch Pail" Clarke and operates under the secret soubriquet of The Sphincter of the Yard - this now explains the origin of this hitherto puzzling pseudonym - Peter Clarke is also examining his guts (we'll spare you the details) and hey Folks !!!

IT WORKS

Early this summer he warned us that there would be more terrists attacks...

" The threat from Irish dissident republican terrorism continues to be of great concern to us " Peter Clarke 16th December 2002 BBC ...oooops that's one he prepared earlier.

AND

There were more ...er... well.. half arsed terrist attacks.

SECRET & CONFIDENTIAL

The secret weapon of both the UKUS Terrist policy is the combined state of Clarke and Chertoff's guts.