Will Nu Labour get Balls at last ? Brown to go in shock psycho - drama - queen

Department of Special Collections and University Archives
McFarlin Library. University of Tulsa
Has the manuscript of a poem by Malcolm Lowry - Tashtego believed Red

Stubbs the quirky, fatalistic second mate on the Pequod had a harpoonist, Tashtego a "native" Gay Head Indian from Martha’s Vineyard. One of the last of his tribe which is about to disappear. The role of the noble savage is one he shares with Queeqeg , a prince from a South Sea island . Fuelled by rum he is more practical and less intellectual than Queequeg.

It is a popular belief that Tashtego's Polynesian friend was the origin of the name for Captain Queeg in Herman Wouk's "Caine Mutiny" made memorable by Humphrey Bogart in Stanley Kramers 1954 film of the book.

Lieutenant Commander Philip Francis Queeg, takes over the command of the Destroyer / minesweeper "Caine" a run down World War One ship.

Abandoning his girl May, he starts immediately losing respect of his officers by browbeating officer to sell him their liquor ration , smuggles liquor on board and swiftly and certainly loses the crews respect in a series of calamities.

On the first voyage the ship runs aground and Queeg blames the helmsman, they lose a gunnery target by over riding the cable, due to Queeg's inattention whilst disciplining a sailor for leaving his shirt tail out.

These failings culminate in the loss of a portion of strawberries the recovery of which becomes an epic enquiry which seals the dislike of the crew faced with his cowardice in action, when he leaves a dye marker to cover his premature retirement from action resulting in his being called "Old Yellowstain".

Lieutenant Stephen Maryk makes an amateur self diagnosis of him as a paranoid and maintains a diary of his increasingly eccentric behaviour to justify his analysis. This includes Queeg's obsessive habit of rolling steel ball bearings in his hand, both within and outside his pocket.

In a momentous typhoon Maryk seizes command and the story continues to dissect Queeg's actions in the form of a court martial not for mutiny but a lesser charge of Conduct to the Prejudice of Good Order and Discipline (the sort of charge that might apply to say a Chief Constable shagging WPC's on his staff).

Brown as Queeg

Gordon Brown has always appeared as a solitary and remote, isolated and driven character - widely believed to be a supressed homosexual - marriage has not stilled the rumours. Since assuming power - an assumption like a monarch and not the result of a populist party wide vote, his isolation has become more evident.

His curious physical tics have become morbidly amplified - Guido pokes relentless fun and obtains some schoolboy merriment at an episode when he picked his nose and ate the result in the House of Commons to be captured on the in house cameras and widely circulated as a vicious prank.

In public speech - of which we necessarily see more - and under stress, his odd open mouthed mouth breathing, his rapid claw like hand dragging down documents - scrawled over with huge type in blunt black Magic Markers have become increasingly evident.

The consequences of his famed indecision or as the Cameronian low lifers prefer, "dithering" are now framing his office... the call for an Autumn election, the Northern Rock extended debacle, troop levels in Iraq, signing the Lisbon treaty, appearance/ non appearance at the Beijing Olympics ceremonies.

The bizarre personal appearance - a combination of his own negligence and no doubt the despair of unheard helpers - trousers tucked in his sock, his persistently ragged necktie, inexpertly applied and hideously coloured face make - up and persistent facial tics and tricks all re-inforce a troubled person - not made any more likeable by has pallid face and the unfortunate asymmetry of his glass eye.

There are also the consistent stories of staff falling out, leaving - Spencer Livermore at his side for a decade departing for Saatchi & Saatchi (Some reports said Brown made Livermore cry with one of his tirades) .. or not starting such as David Pitt-Watson he personally selected as Labour Party Secretary.

Now we have the bizarre story in the Sunday Mail as the juvenile Ed. Balls (Maryk) is lobbying to mutiny and take command as the financial typhoon finally hits, and the Local election looms with premonitions of disaster as the Labour vote slumps in the polls, Bae corruption, Beijing, the kalaidoscope is shaking......

Balls, even if he is a simpleton is ambitious , he is not without allies, the Guradian says yesterday that Gordon is "clinically depressed" . Although he has his enemies - the craven war criminal Jack Straw apparently offered to biff Balls at a cabinet meeting last week.

Others lurk, and sensing danger to their own over arching personal agendas - Zionist Foreign Secretary the Boy David Miliband and Zionist backed Work and Pensions Secretary James Purnell are scuttling about ... preparing their legions... and the funds to catapult them into the lead.

...and Queeg is in his cabin , fiddling with his balls.

UPDATE : Famous for 15 megapixels has some filthy film that is relevant if the sight of a grown man fiddling with his balls is not too much for you.