Bradford & Bingley - Dead Underwater - Broken - Fucked

Bradford & Bingley are bankrupt. They are insolvent. They have issued fraudulent financial information. The CEO has jumped ship. This parrot is no more. This parrot is dead, deceased.

All this is obvious as events have unfolded over the last 36 hours. Chairman Rod Kent, who steered them onto the rocks, takes over the tiller.

On the threat of pulling out of underwriting the Rights Issue as the shares threatend to go underwater, Citigroup and UBS *** demanded the issue was cut to 55p (and where are the regulators whilst this shell game is played ?) which makes Texas & Pacific's weekend bottom feeding grab for 20 + % at 55 p (ish) a share , look expensive.

Of course the Directors who have all agreed to take up their Rights will be midly relieved as the issue price is cut. Remember when the Issue was announced on May 14th it was at a 48% discount to the closing price of Bradford & Bingley shares of 158.75 pence per share on 13 May 2008.

The current 65p(ish) share price, down 26% on the day (suspended briefly 7.52 am to 8.10 am today) values the company at about £330 Mn . But they have issued a third profits (loss) warning, a big growth in reposessions + arrears ( jumped from £828m at 31 December to £1.1bn at 30 April - see below) , especially in their fancy Buy to Let book (shades of Northern Wreck) , a derisory 0.6% ish for 2008 operating margin and also mortgage fraud of £15 Mn ... which will definitely be understated.Net net a loss of £8Mn in Q1 2008 (which you can bet your bottom dollar will be "restated" at some time)

Anyone who holds the shares is a mug. Anyone who buys the shares is a mug. Anyone who has deposits is advised to extract them ASAP before the Regulators finally suspend the shares and freeze deposits. Get yer dosh out and put ut somewhere where you don't rely on some dodgy Gubment backed scheme to pay out.

Meanwhile HBOS trade 10% lower at 361 p (Rights Issue 275p) and RBOS dropped to 224, perilously near their 200p Rights issue level. Barclays, Alliance & Leicester and Lloyds are down 2 - 4% (ish)

Anyone who has a financial stake is well advised to read this caveat from the Bradford & Bingley plc / Posting of Rights Issue Circular / 19 May 2008

No representation or warranty, express or implied, is given by or on behalf of the Company, Citigroup Global Markets Limited, Citigroup Global Markets UK Equity Limited or UBS Limited or any of their respective directors, officers, employees, advisers or any of their respective affiliates, or any other person, as to the accuracy, fairness or sufficiency or completeness of the information or opinions or beliefs contained in this announcement (or any part hereof).

The notice also contained this fascinating view of the market ...

See Friday's Post Banks Rights issues tanking ... ordure to hit the air conditioning real soon now and Thursday, May 22, 2008 Banks Rights Issue - Failure will give Mervyn the Moron a nasty jolt

Of course this unravellng of the banks started with the weakest in terms of assets, management and experience (Northern Wreck was also run by crooks) ... it will continue, zillions have already been written off with more to come. Mr Brown's and Mr Ball's famous and feckless Tri- Partite arrangement has been found wanting, the regulators have been asleep at the switch. B & B's "niche" markets have tanked.

PS : No representation or warranty, express or implied, is given by or on behalf of Lord Patel, Lolla Palooza, Toni Fabuloso, the man with the oil can, or any of their respective directors, officers, employees, advisers or any of their respective affiliates, or any other person, hanger on , lying fucking financial PR executve, "Financial correspondent" , BBC News Editor, Fern Britton, Trisha, as to the accuracy, fairness or sufficiency or completeness of the information or opinions or beliefs contained in this announcement (or any part hereof).