Major General Patrick Cordingly shows what a Desert Rat he is on BBC Radio 4 - Feed the men rations, not food

Early this morning , well very early actually, Gemma was sleepily listening to the BBC4 Today programme and then she woke with a jolt.

Major General Patrick Cordingly , retired Desert Rat ( he commanded 12,000 men in 7th Armoured Brigade, in the Gulf War) was on the Renta Quote for Iraq spot for the day (closely follows Thought For the Day usually) and he was jokingly describing the "Combat Rations" UK troops are given in unrelenting 40 degree heat.

Ho.Ho.Ho, Laughed this genial General, Beans and skinless sausages for six months every day. Terrible stuff.Ho. Bloody Ho.

"Dear General", shrieked Gemma, "we have been sending troops to the Gulf sice 1995 ,illegally invading Iraq in 2003 , 7 years bringing education to little girls in Afghanistan and you feed the men this shit."

A presenter choked on the "Tuna Bake" which was inedible. Ho.Ho. Ho. laughed the genial General again.

"You daft bastard" shouted Gemma (she really looks lovely when she is angry)..." the bloody Generals and Admirals like you spend squillions on military toys".Sh paused for breath. " Bloody millions , then you send them to Afghanistan in 50 year old designed ,unprotected "Snatch" Land Rovers...and the most important part of that Land Rover is the men in it"... another pause for breath, her bosom was heaving, and well..moving about a bit." Then you give them this muck"

There is of course powdered drinks, helps that stuff go down, disguises the taste. Ho Ho Ho laughed the genial General again. Of course water is in short supply ... desert, dry .. er.. sandy.

Well Gemma really, really got cross and used language ..like ..well.. a trooper living on baked beans and chlorinated water and washing once a week for six months.

She is right of course.. another example of the military masters failing to get their priorities right.

So we soon got her back to her old fighting self with some scrambled egg with smoked salmon and some delicate fried fresh mushrooms.. and champagne.. she likes champagne at breakfast.

Anyway the jovial General is all for some sort of research johnnies having a look at what they feed troops .. jolly important.. So fucking important that no-one has looked at how you feed our fighting machines properly. 3,000 calories a day .. what more do you want ... meals in the Officers mess ?

UPDATE Thursday 26th June

The Daily Mail have a story today following the ppearance of Major General Patrick Cordingly , retired Desert Rat on BBC4 Today programme

Yesterday the Ministry of Defence revealed the 20 menus, plus six each of Sikh, Hindu, vegetarian and halal, which should be ready for the forces in Iraq and Afghanistan next year.