US borders safe from illegal importation of incorrectly labelled Penis Pumps - Democracy is safe.

This is one of those arcane, grubby, but nonetheless delightful internet web cyber HOT STORIES that amuse juveniles and like minded souls - The FDA have put out an alert IA #78-01 - 8/20/08, REVISION TO IMPORT ALERT #78-01, "DETENTION WITHOUT PHYSICAL EXAMINATION OF PENIS ENLARGERS AND ERECTION MAINTAINING RINGS"

We need to thank the sharp eyed souls at Texas Star Telegram who picked up this from the FDA website.

Apparently the FDA have identified a problem with penis enlargement devices as there are inadequate instructions for use "The article is subject to refusal of admission pursuant to Section 801(a)(3) in that it appears to be a device, the label of which fails to bear adequate directions for use [Misbranding, Section 502(f)(1)]." (Makes you wonder how that contaminated heparin got through these hard working guys at the FDA ?)see Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Baxter Healthcare Heparin crisis grows - active ingredient traced to Chinese production plant that was not inspected by the FDA

Helpfully, in their alert the problems that arise from incorrect use are detailed in somewhat grim and startling detail :The use of penis enlargers and erection maintaining rings may have harmful effects. They may aggravate existing medical conditions such a Pegronies disease, priapism, and urethral stricture. They may contuse or cause rupture of the subcutaneous blood vessels, which may produce hemorrhage and hematoma formation. Additionally, frequent use of erection maintaining rings may result in ecchymosis of the proximal portion of the penis and scrotum, and the lymphatic stasis of the penis.

Perhaps most alarming (if this hasn't already put you off the use of penile rings for a lifetime) : Prolonged use of the rings may cause gangrene of the penis.

Even more helpfully they add that :Basically, the labelling of these devices falsely states or implies they will treat impotence, prolong erection, and increase the dimensions of the penis.

We will hold off on further details of and harm that may result, from the use of : Erection Maintaining Devices, Penis Enlargers, and Supportive Devices - Click here if you need help.

If not already awed by the burly boys and girls of the extraordinarily polite and helpful Transportation Security Administration (TSA) officers when emerging Stateside - the message is clear - should you have brought along your penis pump .... remember to keep the instructions handy. Or this could happen.

Toni Fabuloso's TOP TIP for TRAVELLERS : TSA Federal Flight Deck Officers are trained by the Federal Air Marshal Service on the use of firearms, use of force, legal issues, defensive tactics etc., so it would be unwise to even think about using such devices whilst in flight.