OLympic Gold - Mining in reverse, dig holes and fill them with Gold.

Lord Patel thinks Mrs Jowell has been unreasonably criticised, this pleasant middle aged, housewife, Minister for Circuses has only to say the cost of the Olympics has risen from the initial guess estimate of £2.2 Bn. by only £900Mn and the attack dogs, Left AND Right are out for her blood.... and the ..er .. regeneration cost have risen to £1.5 Bn, surprisingly VAT is due (Not another VAT scam surely. Ed.) Who would want her job? Well she does apparently, she has hung on to her job longer than any Minister other than the dour preacher's son from the Lang Toon.

Just as well, as soon after the announcement of success at Singapore the jubilant Jowell told Paxman (who raised it must be remembered a quivering quizzical eyebrow and a broader than usual smirk).

“We can and will avoid the cost over-run which Athens experienced and the long-term debt which some other previous host cities have had to deal with,”

Ho. Ho.

VAT was't accounted for in the report prepared by KCMG, the country's foremost tax accountantcs, security costs have soared .. it goes on and on , and her foes are foaming at the mouth and stagger back at the size of the alleged Total Cost. Whatever and however that may possibly be prepared ,at this stage, puzzles the bean counters at Patel Mansions, confident that whatever it is, it well never be calculated carefully or publicised at all.

This rapidly climbing and fanciful figure is used loosely by those denizens of the night, un sober and fevered sub - editors on the Red Rag press, just so long as it will fit in a screaming headline. £ 5 Bn! £7Bn! a more precise £8.2 Bn. even 20 Bn Euros, a larger and more scaring number for London ratepayers and Lotto gamblers. Cast in this ersatz currency to allow for comparisons with the cost of Athens Olympics. Demonstrating, as if it needed demonstrating that London can out run the Greeks for overspending, if not at running.

Jowell faces up the to the inquisitive MP's on the committee sniffing a scandal in the air, and does a splendid job , much as a spendthrift Director might face his (her) creditors. Well she might because, in Italy her supposedly estranged husband, a cocksure, bi-lingual ( he lies fluently in both Italian and English) and deeply unpleasant man who faces, with his client, mentor, friend, and fellow crook charges of bribery and money laundering.

The plain , if not dowdy housewife who faced off the MP's with such aplomb, (all kids want a medal, all kids will get a medal! see Seb's wizard scheme) had a house with a joint mortgage with her sinister spouse. It was re-mortaged for £400,000 with an offshore bank, then 5 weeks later repaid . She asserted with unblinking stare and scarcely a blush, that, this was “a very normal thing to do, and certainly not illegal.” (Fashion note : are rumours of botoxification correct?)

Yes. Normal that is, for money launderers, especially when the source of the money ( a mere US$600,000) seems confusingly, in correspondence her untruthful husband has with his accountants, either a gift, or a loan or ... maybe even a standard payment for services (and hence taxable). He also said in a signed confession to the Italian police, the money came from Snr Berlusconi - a claim he now says was extracted under duress.

Ho. Ho.

To provide more "clarity" Mr Mills went on to explain the money was not in fact a bribe from Berlusconi for the evidence he had just given in an Italian court to keep Berlusconi out of jail. It was rather a ...er .....personal gift. Then he says that this statement was a lie to protect another client, - who it transpires now denies this, as he was in prison at the time.

So who is surprised that the financial affairs of the Olympics are awry already - a monster deal allegedly fudged through in a Singapore hotel room by Gold Medal liar Tony Blair who was handing out "favours", political payoffs in one on one meetings with IOC members and mutual backscratching to get the result he wanted. London beat Paris by 4 votes and the Mayor of Paris Bertrand Delanoë, was quick to accuse his opponents of bending the rules by continue to lobby IOC members until only hours before the decisive session began. Deeper, darker, dirtier deeds are the subject that swell around what Tony Blair got up to sequestered in his Raffles City convention complex in Singapore as the IOC members (64 of the 100 IOC members met and jollied with Tony and Cherie in those 48 hours) relentlessly filed in and wreathed in smiles and bonhomie, filed out.

Olympic Gold, for sure - that will rapidly disappear into the capacious pockets of rapacious City Lawyers , Accountants, Consultants, Property tycoons, Construction companies, PR outfits with sleazy connections to No 10 and the general rag bag of carpet baggers, no goods , ne'er do groupies and camp followers wells that attend these hoopla missions - see Millennium dome.

However Lord Patel can provide some modest savings, his Logo which first he aired in December (see top) is available free of copyright, free of charge.