Monbiot devisor of the Calculus presents the Monbiot Demon Rule on BBC Radio 4 "Any Questions"

It is a reflexive response from a lifetime of listening which combines probably with a deep personal sense of poor self worth mixed with a monastic wish for self flagellation that Lord Patel insists all staff listen to the weekly edition of the BBC 4 "Any Questions" program and the odious, repeated and otiose interjections of David Dimblebore (or is it the other one ?).

Probably if strapped to an ECG, the news that intellectually challenged ex MP Peter Tatchell had been worked over by the thugs of OGPU or NKVD or FSU (FRU even) whilst marching unwisely around Moscow this week, demanding liberation of homosexuals from the repressive state organs of Mr Putin and been reduced to a semi - vegetative state (difficult to tell with this type of agitateur who approaches each and every "issue" with an open mouth and a closed mind) meaning he couldn't as advertised attend.

That potential ECG would have registered a tremor on the appropriate Richter scale of something like 9, when it was announced that George Monbiot, the incessant yapping lap dog of Metropolitan muttering classes had been hastily pulled (like Becks for England at the last minute) into the team.

Sure enough the twin Aunt Sallies of "climate change" and "Crusader George Bush" were propped up and the other George like the Saint he would paint himself, sallied forth... comparing Trofim Lysenko to George Bush.

Now to compare the war criminals and gangsters like Stalin and George , nation's leaders, one who fixed elections and the other who simply ignored them is perhaps reasonable. It doesn't advance many arguments however. But George has heard of a man who does.

Trofim Lysenko Трофи́м Дени́сович Лысе́нко was a hard working , diligent scientist of ex peasant stock (social mobility existed in regal Russia even though they had few Grammar Schools, if any), he developed and introduced wheat crops that could by seed treatment (Vernalisation) could be autumn sowed, extending their range of cultivation and yield, amongst many other crop improvements. Benefits that still persist throughout the world of temerate agriculture as a direct result of his pioneering and basic crop research.

He was a supporter of the French 18th century biologist Lamarck, and his theories on evolution .... more as an antidote to Darwinism, a stance which Stalin was happy to support (and admire - a rare commodity in Satlin's Russia) - just as many millions in George's Empire believe in "Intelligent Design" - and not a few in Tony's Academies.

Lamarck's theories were regularly ridiculed in a Victorian world attuned by T H Huxley to Darwinsm - much as Clarence Mitchell sells Madeleine to the mawkish masses today - he was if you wish to use a modern metaphor , Charlie Darwin's Max Clifford. As today a shorthand had to be produced, a "sound bite". Science to be understood by the multitude, had to be reproduced to simplistic terms - and the term was, "acquired characteristics" and much was the guffawing at pictures of Giraffes with long necks who had grown Lamarck surmised, in a world before Mendel, Crick and Watson, Jacques Monod and AG Darnell, by stretching their necks to reach higher and higher uneaten tree leaves, a characteristic they passed on in their "germ" to their offspring.

Such was the position up until the 1960's when Monbiot was struggling to understand the principles of biology, or to put it in a way he would understand, Lamarck bad, Lysenko bad, Darwin Good. It was only in the early post war world that the nature of the genome began to be understood and a few brave souls, Prof. Blower at Manchester University, Prof (?) Maynard Smith at London, began to understand that the genetic map was not a fixed and immoveable plan but was susceptible to continuous change both in construction an effect. (What we have learnt to call genetic expression - we have of course also learnt that Darwin should have called his book "Origins of Species") This was of course the period when scientists such as J D Bernal,(author of "The Social Function of Science" and the 3 Volume History of Science that James Burke plagiarised for his excellent TV series "Connections). Lancelot Hogben, and Needham and later medawar were, through contact with the Soviets to make such great changes (drien to some extent by Popperianism) in the understanding of the philosophy and history of science.

Today the science of "developmental genetics" the role of mdRNA and other transpositional elements is understood that we now realise that Lamarck was nearly right, Lysenko perhaps even righter and the post war geneticists struggling with those tantalisng saliva glands of Drosophila melanogaster even righter still.

So Trofim Lysenko was in many respects a remarkable and worthy scientists who did a great deal to improve agriculture and the understanding of the operation of what we now call the genome.

Lysenko was of course the obedient (and latterly the willing) tool of the Soviet State, of Stalin , but curiously was never a member of the Communist Party up to his death in 1976 - we first hear of him from a dissident Medvedev, who retailed the gosip of Popovsky the scheming of Vavilov, the dirty work of Beria. Of course Lysenko invented results and told lies about the cropping and productivity of his work, was boastful, - he would probably have have been killed if he hadn't. Well might Monbiot have had impressed upon his childish and childlike brain that LYSENKO WAS BAD.

This demonisation of Lysenko of course would go uncriticised, unchecked in most polite, even impolite scientific company, after all, incuriosity is an "inherited charactersitic" of newspaper journalists and politicians. The audience lapped it up and cheered porky george to the roof. Mr McNulty the willing henchman and bootlicker of Johnny "Hammer of the English" Reid at the Home Offjeering at President George's ideas (which none of has yet seen but will certainly preclude (Thank God) ideas of a global carbon market) he will present at the G8 conference next week. Remember of course that George VI's objections are probably more to do with the fact that the USA cannot control such an international market than of any inherent ineffeciency in that market to produce the desired end of lowered carbon dioxide emissions. To George VIth , The World Bank is a GOOD THING so long as it's run by a Yanqui, even if he is a dreadfully corrupt lying, goat and war criminal. NOTE the only difference with Zoelleck the "Enforcer" at the StateDepartmentto make sure Condi did as she was told is that we know he is a war criminal, nobodu is sure yet whether he supped in the salons of Madame Palfrey.

The only thing that will work says this polymath, architect of the rising Police State, anxious to star in the other George's company is a world carbon market. So blissfully ignorant is he of what goes down on he street, it is difficult to beleive he would know how to buy even a bag of tomatoes from Camden Market - and certainly never understand Lysenko's early experiments on tomato breeding which he lied so fabulously about to Vavilov and friends. He certainly has no understanding of the murky goings on at that squalid casino at the end of Threadneedle Street as Harold Macmillan called the Stock Market. No doubt Lord Cohen friend, confidante and financier of the Chanceller nee Prime Minister who has made the odd bob in that market will put him right when he slides effortlessly into the seat to be vacated by the midget Karaoke King,and representative at the Court of King Tony for Israel, My glittering Lord Levy (still out on bail by the way).

The incurious press simply forget that the closing price per tonne of carbon (a EuropeanTrading Unit - ETU) on Friday was Euro 0.30 and just over 12 months ago was trading at Euros 16. They also omit the truth that for all the millions (of tons and pounds / Euros) traded, for all the brokers, lawyers, traders, not a single less ton of carbon dioxide was produced in the whole of Europe last year and in fact by official EU calculations (which are probably accurate to plus/minus 20%) increased.

Just to re-iterate. The Monbiot Calculus = think of a number, make it bigger.

The Monbiot Demon Rule = think of a foreigner, Ridicule, mock, demonise, shout him down.

There. feeling better now. Switch off the ECG. Panic attack over.