"“We have lent a huge amount of money to the U.S. Of course we are concerned about the safety of our assets. To be honest, I am definitely a little worried.” "


Chinese premier Wen Jiabao 12th March 2009


""We have a financial system that is run by private shareholders, managed by private institutions, and we'd like to do our best to preserve that system."


Timothy Geithner US Secretary of the Treasury, previously President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.1/3/2009

Friday, December 28, 2007

Christmas Terror attack strikes at home of Ex Sea Lord - Swiss connection being investigated - Amazing Pictures

Guests and family were enjoying a traditional Christmas fondue party at the elegant Shedfield, Hampshire, home of 74 year old Sir Julian Oswald, a former First Sea Lord yesterday. (when he had more ADmirals than ships)

As the guests compared notes on their christmas presents and the beautiful lights outside the village church. The Gas CANISTER USED FOR HEATING THE BOILING VAT OF EXOTIC SWISSS CHEESE VIOLENTLY EXPLODED.

With remarkable luck no guests were killed in this horrific terror attack althugh several required treatment for life threatening burns which can disfigure and the leave the victima life os solitary misery.

An ashen faced but distinguisged surgeon, Sir Feinne Stilton world expert in Emmenthal cheese burns said that there was no cause for concern and he would be flying back from Barbados as soon as possble.One of the few remaining 40 year old RAF VC 10's is standing by for an emergency mercy dash.

Peter Clarke the Sphincter of the Yard arrived on the scene rapidly with his trademark lunch pail and was able to retrieve some of the remains of the delicious (but cooling) cheese sauce. He is reported to have said that it really required a little more Paprija (believed to be a new secret bomb ingredient about which military soucrces are remaining tight lipped).

The Gas cylinder (purchased it appears from Asif Patel's corner stores in nearby Meopham has been rushed to FBI lab's in Virginia for "expert " examination.

Neither No 10 nor the Foreign Office have made a statement. President Bush has been informed.

Source (National Enqirerer)

TRAVEL - Tourists from Switzerland frisked for fondue fork
FOOD - Danger on the Dinnertable - Fondness for Fondue - piling on the pounds
HEALTH - Paprika the wonder ingredient
SCIENCE - Paprike - os this the terrorist's new weapon ?
TERROR ALERT - Dining Out - Hidden Dangers

Nextr week Gluhwein - the sinister new drug killing our kids ?

2 comments:

sam_m said...

I'm so disappointed, ...you didn't make it up!!

(The Telegraph really has gone a long way down hill.)

Stef said...

You've got to admit that the concept of a booby-trapped fondue set is an almost perfect weapon for class warfare

and one can only wonder at the mayhem that would have been caused if the Glasgow airport 'bombers' had sheathed their devices with cheese

(C) Very Seriously Disorganised Criminals 2002/3/4/5/6/7/8/9 - copy anything you wish