Christmas Terror attack strikes at home of Ex Sea Lord - Swiss connection being investigated - Amazing Pictures

Guests and family were enjoying a traditional Christmas fondue party at the elegant Shedfield, Hampshire, home of 74 year old Sir Julian Oswald, a former First Sea Lord yesterday. (when he had more ADmirals than ships)

As the guests compared notes on their christmas presents and the beautiful lights outside the village church. The Gas CANISTER USED FOR HEATING THE BOILING VAT OF EXOTIC SWISSS CHEESE VIOLENTLY EXPLODED.

With remarkable luck no guests were killed in this horrific terror attack althugh several required treatment for life threatening burns which can disfigure and the leave the victima life os solitary misery.

An ashen faced but distinguisged surgeon, Sir Feinne Stilton world expert in Emmenthal cheese burns said that there was no cause for concern and he would be flying back from Barbados as soon as possble.One of the few remaining 40 year old RAF VC 10's is standing by for an emergency mercy dash.

Peter Clarke the Sphincter of the Yard arrived on the scene rapidly with his trademark lunch pail and was able to retrieve some of the remains of the delicious (but cooling) cheese sauce. He is reported to have said that it really required a little more Paprija (believed to be a new secret bomb ingredient about which military soucrces are remaining tight lipped).

The Gas cylinder (purchased it appears from Asif Patel's corner stores in nearby Meopham has been rushed to FBI lab's in Virginia for "expert " examination.

Neither No 10 nor the Foreign Office have made a statement. President Bush has been informed.

Source (National Enqirerer)

TRAVEL - Tourists from Switzerland frisked for fondue fork
FOOD - Danger on the Dinnertable - Fondness for Fondue - piling on the pounds
HEALTH - Paprika the wonder ingredient
SCIENCE - Paprike - os this the terrorist's new weapon ?
TERROR ALERT - Dining Out - Hidden Dangers

Nextr week Gluhwein - the sinister new drug killing our kids ?