"“We have lent a huge amount of money to the U.S. Of course we are concerned about the safety of our assets. To be honest, I am definitely a little worried.” "

Chinese premier Wen Jiabao 12th March 2009

""We have a financial system that is run by private shareholders, managed by private institutions, and we'd like to do our best to preserve that system."

Timothy Geithner US Secretary of the Treasury, previously President of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.1/3/2009

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Judicious laughter

The Daily Torygraph report that Judge Roy Pearson took a pair of trousers for cleaning into Custom Cleaners in his neighbourhood, Fort Lincoln, Washington, in 2002. He never saw them again.

The judge accepted £75 (US $150) in compensation from the owners, Jim and Soo Chung.

3 years later,another pair, this time it is said, the judge's favourite pair of trousers suffered the same fate. After some legal and, for the judge, unsatisfactory legal wrangling he has issued a writ claiming US467Mn from the Chungs, based on the failure by them to to fulfil the promises displayed in their shop window: "Satisfaction Guaranteed" and "Same Day Service".

This reminds Lord Patel of a learned judge full of wisdom and post-prandial port returning somewhat unsteadily to his rooms after a lengthy and generous lunch.

His butler on welcoming him back pointed, to the fresh vomit on the front of his suit and weskit and discreetly suggested that his Honour might wish to disrobe and lie down for a while, whilst he dealt with the noisome mess on his lapels.

"Damn drunk...in the street, Jenkins...damn drunk .... sick all over me," explained his Honour.

The discreet butler took the clothes and as he was retiring the Judge exclaimed further to his helpful manservant, ..."damn drunk Jenkins, .. disgusting ..had him in front of me ... I'd give him six months!".

Some time later the butler returned with the suit, superbly cleaned and pressed accompanied by a restorative cup of tea.

Helping the Judge on with his suit, he murmered to the him that perhaps if the drunk did ever appear in front of him, he might justifiably extend the sentence to 12 months.

The Judge queried this rather savage increase in the supposed sentence, from his mild mannered and courteous manservant.

"Well sir, he made a terrible mess in your trousers as well."

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(C) Very Seriously Disorganised Criminals 2002/3/4/5/6/7/8/9 - copy anything you wish